Why You Can’t Stop Looking at Your Smartphone—and What to Do about It

I don’t think anyone would have believed 20 years ago that phones would become an addiction. And yet, here we are, all staring at a tiny screen, waiting for the next Facebook comment or Instagram like.

Smartphones Are Addictive by Design

The truth is that smartphones were designed to be addictive. You actually get a little hit every time you check your phone and see a new email or social media follower. Just like a drug, smartphone stimuli activate the reward system in the brain, which entices you to come back again and again.

Something that isn’t discussed much in addiction recovery is “seeking behavior.” My sex addiction clients tell me that much of the thrill of pornography is the anticipation of acting out—and the thrill of searching for something novel.

Even though cute cat videos are more benign, all of us are susceptible to the thrill of the unexpected. It’s why little kids find those egg videos so attractive. They don’t know what’s going to happen, and they are hooked!

Technology companies are even using the gaming industry to learn what will hook people. Have you ever noticed that the bright, flashy colors and bold graphics on phone apps bear some resemblance to slot machines?

U.S. Senator Josh Hayley recently introduced the Social Media Addiction Reduction Technology (SMART) Act. This legislation would ban some features of social media sites like infinite scrolling (looking at you, Facebook) and automatically loading new videos after one ends (YouTube, Instagram Stories, and Netflix).

The idea behind the SMART Act is that users would be forced to make a conscious choice to continue using social media, rather than getting sucked into post after post and video after video. It remains to be seen whether the legislation will pass and if it actually curbs our social media usage here in the U.S.

How to Beat Smartphone Addiction

Fortunately, there are a few things you can do right now to minimize the impact of social media addiction. You may feel a little counter cultural doing one or more of these suggestions, but it’s worth trying if you think you might have an unhealthy relationship with your phone.

Reducing the time you spend on social media will likely bring you greater peace of mind and possibly even deeper connection with the flesh-and-blood people in your life.

1.      Turn off notifications on social media apps and even email.

Have you heard of Pavlov’s dogs? Every time Pavlov rang a bell, he would feed a group of dogs. Eventually, the connection between the two stimuli became so strong, the dogs would automatically salivate at the sound of the bell. This is called “classical conditioning,” and you may have seen it in your pup at home when you open a bag of treats.

Humans are just as susceptible to classical conditioning. When you hear that ding from your email app, you probably reach for your phone automatically, without even thinking about what you are doing. Turning off notifications is the equivalent of smashing Pavlov’s bell with the hammer. You can then check your phone at your leisure. (If you need help turning these off, either ask a teenager or google it!)

2.      Go camping somewhere where there is no cell service.

It’s getting harder and harder to find campsites that don’t have cell service, but it is possible. I live in San Diego, and my family likes to go to a place called “R-Ranch in the Sequoias” a few times a year. About halfway up the mountain, cell service cuts out and we are left with each other, our thoughts, and the beautiful outdoors.

You would think that something like this would be uncomfortable after being tethered to our devices for months on end, but it’s actually quite freeing to trade the iPhone for archery, reading on the porch, and lazy days at the pool.

(I recently visited a camp for teenagers called Camp Unplugged in Southern California. I took a tour on the last day of the summer session, and the sense of energy and authentic connection was palpable. After just a week without technology, these kids were thriving.)

The benefit of camping without cell service is that it seems to deactivate the brain’s reward center to some extent. The classical conditioning becomes less strong, and when you return to civilization you may feel like you may have greater clarity on what steps to take to keep your usage in check at home.

3.      Remove social media apps from your phone altogether.

This suggestion comes from my wife, who goes through periods where she spends a lot of time on Facebook and Instagram. She has noticed that she spends more money and feels lonelier when her social media usage creeps above a certain threshold. (Yes, she’s a nerd like me and tracks this kind of thing!)

To combat this, my wife will sometimes delete social media apps from her phone. This makes it a lot harder to access her social media accounts. Instead of carrying Facebook in her pocket, she can only access it from home on her desktop or on her phone’s browser, which requires a lot more effort and intentionality.

4.      Use screen time limits on your phone.

Many smartphone come with built-in ways to limit your screen time. My iPhone tells me every week how much time I’ve spent using it. I can also look up what apps I’ve used the most and set notifications when I’m approaching or have surpassed my preset limits.

This approach will make you more aware of how you use your phone and help you define what appropriate use looks like for you.

Whatever strategy you choose, make sure that you’re clear on why you want to tackle your smart phone addiction. Maybe you want to spend more time on a hobby such as running or reading actual books. Maybe you want to connect with friends in-person more frequently. Whatever the case, having a clear “why” will guide your decisions and make it easier to resist the pull of the phone, especially at first.

As you reduce your dependence on your cell phone, you’ll notice it becomes easier and easier to work with it on your terms. Instead of your phone controlling you, you’ll control your phone.

Cory Anderson, LMFT, CSAT, is an addiction therapist in San Diego, California. He has received advanced post-graduate training from IITAP, the leading international organization for trauma and addiction treatment. He is the founder and owner of Integrity Counseling Group.